I am officially a full-fledged University student, AGAIN. It's crazy. I feel crazy, well, not so much anymore now that I've had my first classes. I'm feeling more of that hopeful strength that comes from putting one foot in front of another as I walk in darkness. Each step shows the tiniest bit of light in front.
I started on Friday night with Human Development. This is a 3 1/2 hour class that will end in about 10 weeks. This feels a lot like many of the other classes I've already taken (15 years ago) for my Health degree. In two weeks I'll do a 15 minute class presentation with a partner on Death and the stages of Grief. I know something about this. I'm confident. My partner is my new friend. We're going to rock.
The not so touchy-feely class I have is Chemistry on Saturday mornings for 5 1/4 hours. This I'm not sure how I'm going to get through. Well, actually, I know exactly how I'm going to get through it. Blood, Sweat and Tears. I've already read the first two chapters and tried to teach myself the homework. Most of it is math. MATH! It's a four-letter word you know. My calculator has become attached to me as I divide and multiply fractions, remember scientific notation, calculate significant figures, determine the mass number...I'm only half-way through Chapter two. The teacher is already reminding me that this is the EASY stuff.
In order to get into UVU Nursing School I have to get all A's and take several more science classes, including Anatomy and Physiology that I took 18 years ago and got B- in both. "Oh, yes, now I remember why I didn't try this the first time."
So, here I go, one step at a time. Just putting one foot in front of another. My days of being a stay-at-home mom and swim coach are coming to a close. Yes, I know something of grief. It's not ALWAYS a physical death that brings it. I hope this transition will be smooth and gentle for all of us.
Lord, please help us. No. I mean, Thank You for helping us. I KNOW You have been. And...please, Please, PLEASE stay with me. I need all the help I can get.
