If My Nose Was Running Money

Jon Farris shared this at the CreationTree Retreat last weekend. This is funny. When you have 3-4 minutes watch this.

Finding a Husband--My Five Year old's Perspective

Breanne and I were on our way to take lunch to a friend today.

In the car out of nowhere she said, "I'm going to have to travel the world to find a husband someday."
And I said, "Oh really, why?"
"Because I want to find somebody like daddy."
"Like daddy, why?"
"Two reasons," she says with giggles, "First I want to find someone who pinches your butt when he kisses you like Daddy does to you. And second, someone who is silly with their kids, like Daddy is to us."

There's no question in my mind that Breanne adores her daddy. This comes just days after family night when she declared her dad, "The Best Daddy Ever."

Case of the disappearing pants

Every kid should have more than two pair of school pants. I just learned this today, the hard way. Maybe not even every kid, but at least Connor should. Connor wears a uniform to school and he has two pair of uniform pants. I figure he grows out of them so fast I don't want to buy more until I buy the next size, right? Plus, I do laundry every Monday and every Thursday and this works out fine because he can wear the same pants two or three days in a row without much dirt accumulating.
The problem came today when he couldn't find one pair. They've disappeared. The only pair we can find are the ones with a whole in the crotch. I don't even own a sewing machine. So instead of going to school on time I drove him to Target and then to Sears to pick up a pair of navy pants. Neither store has his size in stock. They don't have anything in fact in size 6, 8, or 10. No khaki either. I've ordered Connor some new pants from frenchtoast that will arrive next week sometime. Until then I guess he'll be wearing the high waters that we retired long before Christmas. Oh, dear.

CreationTree Coaching Marriage Retreat

Wow! I spent an awesome weekend listening to great speakers from CreationTree Coaching at the Homestead Resort. Can you believe I forgot to get a picture of Ross? He even asked me to take his picture and I forgot because I was so enthralled in what he was saying. Anyway, this picture is of one of my other favorite speakers, Darren Johansen. Out of the eight or so speakers I think Darren's words might have been the ones I needed to hear the most. I probably can't effectively summarize what he said, but I can tell you how it's helping me. Maybe in another post I'll summarize some of the other great things I learned from the other coaches because they were all really were good!

First, much of Darren's information is based on ideas from the authors of Leadership and Self-deception, Bonds of Anguish Bonds of Love by Terry Warner, and The Peacegiver by James Ferrell, all incredible books. All have concepts that are helping me to change the way I interact with people.

Darren has a great presentation style that was funny and energetic. He also spoke from his heart about how learning from one of these authors through personal interaction changed his own thinking. I think most impressive of all is that from the few interactions I've had with Darren before this event I know he lives what he teaches. His concern for people is evident by who he is, and that's what I want to create.

Darren, thank you. I will continue to work on treating people, especially my spouse, with the love, patience, forgiveness, and desire for his best good, that you have again taught me. And I will add your quote from Goethe to my own quotes. It's the first.

Warms my heart

After swimming the kids wanted to warm up in the sauna. Seeing this picture warms my heart.

3 Bears in the Bed and the Little one said "Roll over"

We had the privledge over the weekend of staying at the Homestead in Midway for the Creationtree marriage retreat. The first night the kids stayed on the sofa couch and amazingly managed to share a bed.

Without Offense: The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism

Warning: this post is a deviation from my fun family story-telling that I normally do. In fact, I posted this for a few hours on Thursday morning before I got scared and thinking that it was too personal I pulled it off the web. I'm bringing it back because one friend saw it that morning and really liked it. She even said whe was getting ready to post a comment when she realized it wasn't there anymore. I want to tell her, thanks for giving me the courage to post this again.

I'm trying to learn what it means to "let your light so shine." And my best guess is that it's probably a lot more than just sharing how great I think my kids are. I know it's not beating myself up either, which is parlty why I chose this motto in the first place, as a way to overcome some of my own habits. But today's post has to do with my testimony of the Savior and what I'm learning about myself and my ability to become like him. It's a little serious so just skip it if you're not in the mood for my contemplations. Anyway...

I've been reading this book Without Offense by John L. Lund and it's helping me, I hope. At least I'm finding insights into myself, as well as things I'd really like to work on.

First I've believed for sometime that God wants me to love Him, to love myself and to love others. This is my interpretation of what it says somewhere in the New Testament about the first and great commandments is to "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, might, mind and strength and the second is like unto it, Love thy neighbor as thyself."

Now the hard part: My criticism of others (and of myself) keeps them from feeling my love--even when I think I ought to share criticism with them out of my desire to be "honest."

Oh. Criticism kills compassion and it blocks love. Even if I give it out of love, they can't feel my love, they only feel hurt, not loved.

I've always known I was hard on myself and that I expected a lot out of others. Can't I be a little justified in this because it's just how I am? No?

This has taken over a week to sink in.
My critical thoughts are keeping people from feeling the love I have to give.
The only thing God really wants me to do on earth is to learn to love.
I've been failing.
Oh.
This hurts.

It's actually taken years to sink in. Is this what I was not hearing when people would say, "If it's not edifying don't share it." Or, "It might be honest, but is it necessary?"

Now I'm feeling some of the pain that I've caused the people who are most dear to me. And it hurts. But I like what Dr. Paul has taught me about pain. It's one of the best catalysts for change. Often, it's not until something is truly painful enough that we allow ourselves to fix it.

So, the pain is really a blessing because it's helping me to reflect on something now that I didn't want to see before. I don't think that means I have to like the pain of my failures, but I can be grateful. And I can have hope in what I'm learning. I have hope in change.

Brotherly Love

Ross and Collin have been gone to CA for over a week to a conference. Breanne and Connor and I have really enjoyed ourselves with a little less structure, less mess, less fighting and less laundry. I hear Ross and Collin are enjoying themselves as well. They call occasionally and we'll talk to them on the phone. I might talk to Ross for 30 seconds to Collin for 1 minute and then Connor and Collin talk for 10 minutes. I think they really miss each other. I know Connor does.
(Ok, truth be told we've all missed them dearly and are glad to have them home.)

Last night Connor talked me into taking him to the store to buy a coming home present for his brother. Connor still has money from Christmas and his birthday that he hasn't spent. He tells me, "I've really missed him, and I want to buy him something he'll like...maybe a game boy game." I agreed to take hime to the store if he kept the cost low--NOT a gameboy game, but somthing small, something around $10. (He still had his wal-mart gift card for $10 from Grammy.)

Should I allow Connor to spend HIS money from Grammy on a present for his brother? I dediced to allow it, hoping it will encourage love, service, generosity, after all it was HIS idea not mine. Connor picked out a nerf gun and target for his brother for $6 over the amount on his gift card. I agreed to pay the extra. Connor says, "This will be a good gift because Collin will have a target to shoot at instead of shooting me." Perhaps altruism doesn't really exist.

The Parenting Breakthrough a real-life plan to teach your kids to work, save money, and be truly independent

So...I'm reading The Parenting Breakthrough, a real-life plan to teach your kids to work, save money, and be truly independent by Merrilee Browne Boyack. First of all I recognize that I desperately NEED this book. On page 27 as part of "the plan" for raising independent children it lists activities and the ages at which your children should perform given tasks. For example, "make sandwiches" is listed under what 4 year olds should be doing for themselves, along with brushing teeth, making breakfast, cleaning room and making bed.

Ok, I've failed, because at age 7, Connor doesn't make his own sandwiches. In fact if ever a kid came out of the womb with a natural inclination to be waited on he does. We've made jokes forever that his younger sister will happily do for Connor what he doesn't want to do. Well, because of this book I now have a "plan" to change all this.

Connor had to make his own sandwich for lunch today, which he did without complaining until it was time to clean it up. He was hungry. He wanted to eat. He did not want to clean it up. So the complaining started. "How come I have to make my own sandwich, anyway?" I explained how we want him to grow up to be an independent, wise man, who is capable, strong, and helpful. This is what the book says to do, so I was prepared. "Learning these things when you're young will really help you." I held back my laugh when he said, "Yea, but when I grow up, my wife will make me my sandwich." And so I smiled and said, "She might, Connor, but what will YOU do for her, so that she'll want to?" He said, "I'll buy her things like necklaces." I was laughing inside but I tried not to show it.

"Oh," I said "That might work but you'll need money to buy those and you'll need to learn to work to make money." Connor's still making me laugh from the other room because I can hear him say, (and he's got his chest puffed out like he's bigger and he's speaking in a deep voice) "I give you a wedding ring, now make me a sandwich." Oh, Merrilee, I've got a lot to learn from your book. I suppose, though, that from observing Breanne's interaction with him that she would be content marrying this kind of man. Only time will tell. In the meantime I will do all I can and will continue to read and probably reread the book.

(As a side note, I met Merrilee's oldest son, Connor yesterday at a Humanitarian service project called Serving with Smiles. He's a spokesperson these days for Mothers Without Borders. I've never met his mom, but I'm sure I would like her. I was of course very impressed with her son who was well-spoken, kind, and very capable. A good catch for his new wife I'm sure.)

Blessings

If ever I enjoyed a child's prayer I enjoyed Breanne's this morning. It is sacred but I want to share it because it uplifts me and reminds me of all I have to be grateful for. I think it may touch you too.

This was not a rote memorized word prayer that my children give sometiems. This one was thoughtful and heartfelt. She was truly grateful and you could tell in the way she spoke.

"Heavenly Father, I am thankful for the spirit in our house. I'm thankful that I could go to swim practice with Connor last night. I'm thankful for the beautiful, sunny day. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I'm thankful for all these things too! And especially that I get to be their mom!