One of my favorite books of all time is Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I've read it front to back at least once, and I open it from time to time because I know it will give me just what I need. Today was no different. (Perhaps someday I will really learn the first habit and be able to move on.)
From Habit 1: Be Proactive (pg.88)
It's the nature of reactive people to absolve themselves of responsibility. It's so much safer to say, "I am not responsible." If I say "I am responsible," I might have to say, "I am irresponsible." It would be very hard for me to say that I have the power to choose my response and that the response I have chosen has resulted in my involvement in a negative, collusive environment, especially if for years I have absolved myself of responsibility for results in the name of someone else's weaknessess.
From page 93 still Habit 1: Be Proactive
"Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue, The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is "out there" stop yourself. That thought is the problem. "
pg. 91-92 "At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep commitments and promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity." "As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity...By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods. The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing the basic habits of effectiveness."
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