I swing back and forth from being selfish and really enjoying my life by racing on weekends (I've been in a race every weekend now for a month) to concentrating on my family and putting their needs first.
Today I shifted back to concentrating on my family's needs (if only for a moment, or month or two, hopefully forever.)
Awhile back I mentioned in a post that I'd seen some blessings come from the bulging disk in my back, and I promised that I would write on that someday. One of those blessings was increased time focusing on serving my kids and husband.
I remember specifically one weekend this Spring camping with my family and hiking around the lake thinking, "This back injury must really be a blessing, because as much as I wish I were on a bike ride right now (working to get faster) if I didn't have this injury I would be missing this time with my family." And I felt really grateful for my injury.
Learning to be grateful in all things hasn't come naturally for me, but sometimes all it takes is a little twist of perspective and then it's not too hard. Perhaps, I'm even grateful for Collin acting out in a way that alarmed both me and my husband enough to seek counseling today, (which has already been sooo helpful.) (Perhaps I've crossed the line intruding on his privacy by mentioning that on my blog,) but I'm getting a tiny more bold here.
We were talking about something completely different the other day when Carol C. spurred me on by saying, "Why don't you write about that on your blog, Jenn? That's the real stuff." And I think I specifically said something, like, "Because it's not an anonymous blog, Carol. I've got pictures of my whole family up there. Do you really I think I should divulge stuff?" Well, anyway. I haven't figured out how much to say in order to be authentic and also helpful to others and how much not to say in order to protect the privacy of my kids and other everyday encounters. (Actually what she wanted me to write was my feelings after the Bishop's talk in Jan. on modesty--which I may eventually have the guts to do--except that I'm in the RS Presidendy now, so we'll see. The real truth is I believe my bishop to be a truly inspired, loving, incredible man. It was just my feelings that were the problem. I'm sure someday I'll say more.)
But for now I'll just continue to muddle along not really knowing the best way to blog or to parent, what's new? Just doing what I hope is right and good. I guess that's all any of us do really. Don't you think? Plus, we all know when kids and parents get counseling it's really to help the parents--even though I'm so glad it's helping Collin. (Maybe we'll actually get through summer without anyone getting hurt, or more hurt.) If you ever need a family therapist I know several and wouldn't hesitate to recommend Darren Johanssen, Dr. Paul Jenkins, or Dr. Jason Adams--all incredible! And I'm listening to Dr. Randy Hyde's parenting CD which seems to be helping.
I'm really grateful for incredible people doing what they're really good at and blessing my life because of it. That's what I aspire to.
3 comments:
I always love reading your blog. The "fun" stuff is always nice to see and read, but the real stuff is so important too!
Now you have me curious about the whole modesty talk...I wasn't there.
I don't think he mentioned modesty at all, but I was hoping that he'd bring it up again. When he said that he was going over past topics I was sure that he'd spend some time on it, but maybe I was too busy wrestling Blake to notice if it was skimmed over or not.
I love your blog too Jen. You always give me something to think about, and whether or not I comment doesn't mean that you haven't got me pondering a subject in my head that I'll eventually talk to you about. That's why I think blogs are so great.
Thanks guys.
It was January when we did a combined meeting with Relief Society sisters and Young Women on modesty, nothing recently.
We'll just say I felt a tad rebellious at first. It's probably the only real rebellious feelings I can remember having toward Gospel Principles ever.
My own feelings shocked me, honestly. The best thing that happened to me was a true feeling of compassion for those who feel rebellious and judged harshly by others. That's a good thing, I think, since I've been told several times from a young age that I'm self-righteous. Never have figured out how to teach my children to live a high standard without condeming or judging others. Suppose that's another blog post, but I don't even come close to having an answer.
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